Relativit-ly speaking.  Einswine is a relative that Einstein wanted kept secret. Einswine emerged from a black hole proving the possibility of time travel and absolute darkness.

Einswine's energy = his mass times the speed of light squared.  A complicated equation solved and explained by a swine of very large mass that wants to be in the spotlight.  Imagine.  Einswine inspired a whole new branch of science. 

Please be sure to keep Einswine safe!  As it is certain he holds many more keys that may unlock the universe for your Flagstaff student and those that follow.